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The “F” word that we need to remove from our vocabulary

foul word

It can make others feel very uncomfortable when they hear it. It’s used way too often and it’s a poor choice to use when answering someone. What is it?

Fine

Yes, the word I’m talking about is fine.

Consider the following exchanges.

“How are you doing today?” “Fine.”

Really? That good, huh?

“How did the big project you wrapped up at work go.” “Fine.”

I hope you still have your job!

“How would you like to go to eat at Olive Garden?” “That’s fine.”

Let’s go someplace you actually want to go to.

It’s the word we use when we want to say bad or okay, but want to put a positive spin on it. I can see through your thinly veiled disguise.

When I hear someone use it, the only thing I hear is “leave me alone” or “I’ll accept that if I have to”.

It’s such a noncommittal word. It’s just covering up how you really feel. Be real, be honest, say what you mean to say!

When to use it

There are only a couple of instances I can think of where it’s acceptable.

  • When saying something is high quality, such as the setting on your camera to take a better quality picture.
  • When describing something that is very thin, such as someone’s hair.

Consider how you’re using seemingly harmless words. A lot can be said between the lines of everyday words. Sometimes it’s in how we say it, and other times it’s the context we use it in. Be considerate!

Any words you can think of that make you cringe when they’re used? Let me know in the comments. Another one that comes to mind for me is “sure”.

“Want to go to see a movie tonight?” “Sure.”

It makes me want to scream!!!

Photo by stockicide

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How to raise children to be more successful than we are

I’ve given this a lot of thought lately as I’ve seen my two daughters get older. How do we raise successful children who become better than we are? How do we raise them to advance our society in ways we never thought possible?

I think I’ve finally discovered small part of the solution.

Backstory

I was once a child. Shocking revelation, I know. I was also a teenager.

As a young child, I spent a lot of time discovering new things, learning how to walk, understanding cause and effect – the important fundamentals.

But then somewhere along the line, I became a teenager. My brain chemicals were thrown all out of whack and I questioned what the people who had raised me were telling me. I stopped heeding their advice and instead wondered if I could do it better.

The problem is that all of this time questioning and trying things on my own was wasted. Why would I question the wisdom of the people who had successfully raised me so far?

Why was it wasted?

The (Partial) Answer to Successful Children

A scientist who conducts an experiment without changing any of the variables, when the results have been tested and verified time and time again, will potentially be out of a job. Yet we have minors across the world doing the same things their parents did and the results are known, tested, and verified.

The problem – the next generation doesn’t always listen to the wisdom of the prior generation. They waste so much time setting up and recreating the experiment, only to see the same results that their parents were trying to instilled in them.

You may be asking yourself, “if they don’t experiment, then how will our civilization get better”. I’m not saying this rule applies in all situations, but I can give you some very basic examples that we can start with:

  • You need to change the oil in your car when it’s recommended.
    • Response: “I don’t have the time or the money to do it that often.”
    • Outcome: Bigger repairs later on cost more money and take longer to repair.
  • You should study for school and do your homework.
    • Response: “I’ll do fine, it’ll be easy. I’d rather hang out with my friends.”
    • Outcome: Poor grades, lost scholarships, and remedial classes.
  • Stay out of debt and start saving early.
    • Response: “How will I get the new iPhone though?”
    • Outcome: Debt, living paycheck to paycheck, and added stress around money.

These are all simple examples, but all examples where we have reasonable certainty in what the right answer is. Instead we waste time arguing and fighting about who knows better. If we could find a way to impart wisdom on the next generation, they can claim the time back that they’ll otherwise be losing. Then they can refocus that time and start years ahead of where we did and potentially become more successful than we can even imagine!

What are your thoughts? Let me know in the comments.

Photo by Tyrone Daryl