I’ve learned a lot about myself over the past couple of weeks and months, and I feel like I’m learning more every day. I’m not an 8-5 cubicle person. I want more control over my success (possible entrepreneur). I’m a cautious, detail oriented person, which means I like to have as much planned out ahead of time to guarantee success. I have a passion for doing something that directly helps others and builds them up. Finally, I’m impatient and I like to see results immediately. (I’m working on the last one.)
High School
As I think I said before, I started getting more active in church in Junior High and High School. That was the church side of things, but there was also the High School side of things. I would say that up through probably our sophomore year, there was the standard groups and cliques that most schools have. There were people who didn’t get along and those who were popular. The usual stuff really.
Something changed in our Junior and Senior years. I’m not sure what it was. It could just be my own perception of things, but I felt like our class started to get along. I felt that by the time we graduated, there were fewer grudges and conflicts than at any time in the past. This may or may not be because I went to a small school where most of us attended from kindergarten to graduation. Perhaps everyone realized that they may not see these people in the future and there was no point in making life miserable.
Anyhow, that’s kind of all beside the point. I did well in school and was valedictorian with one other student in my class. Believe it or not, we got along well and are still friends to this day. We don’t keep in touch as much as we should, but we still share important things that go on in our lives with one another.
As graduation approached, and I closed one door of my life to start the next I had an important decision to make… where to go to college. I had narrowed it down between two schools. One of them was where some of my friends had attended and I really liked the feel of the school. It would mean living on campus and spending quite a bit of money for the experience. The other choice would mean free tuition (because I was valedictorian) and living at home. I’m the cautious type who over analyzes things, so I picked the free choice.
You’ll see later why this was a good choice. (Hint: I met my wife there.) So what purpose did I discover from all of this. Obviously, I continued to work hard and do well in school and that was really for myself more than anything. It did pay off in the end due to the free tuition. Since I graduated without any school debt, it really gives us a lot of freedom. Unfortunately, I think we take that freedom for granted and tend to stay on the cautious side other than really venturing out and using our resources and talents to do great things. Hence the struggle I am currently in. However, it may be that God aligned things for me to not have any college debt so that I could do great things. There have been certain moments in my life that I knew right then they were directed by God. Then there have been others that when I look back, I can see how God may have been directing things all along.
Realizations
I was just reminded that no matter what happens, I have people in my life that care about me and love me. As long as they are still by my side, anything is possible and any failure or bump in the road can be overcome.
Daily Prayer
Lord,
I’m crying out to you for guidance and direction. Please show me you’re there. I can feel that certain events and connections are guided by you, but then I’m confused by others that present themselves that feel as though they will take me down the same path I’m currently on. I don’t know what to do and it’s overwhelming. Please give me direction and guidance. Show me that you care and have a plan for me.
Amen
Daily Prayer
Lord,
With all of the opportunities and paths in front of me, I ask that you would please reveal to me which path is the correct one to take and pursue. Each has their pros and cons and I feel my heart being pulled down some paths more than others. If I pass by certain paths, the door may close on that opportunity forever. Please help me to see clearly and have discernment concerning what to do. Thank you for the many choices and avenues to pursue, even though it can be overwhelming.
Amen
Daily Prayer
Lord,
Please give me confidence in myself to move forward, and help me to see past the doubt and fear that tries to invade and take over my life and control me. Its paralyzing effects have no place in my life.
Amen
Mission Trips
In junior high and high school, I went on four different mission trips. Two of them were what we called “local”. They were in Kentucky. The other two were further away, Toronto and Mexico (Southern Texas).
If you’ve ever considered going on a mission trip of any kind, I would highly recommend it. There really is nothing that compares to the experience as far as I know. You create bonds with people that you never would have imagined bonding with.
The two local trips were work trips. We spent most of the time doing stuff like painting, roofing, siding, or anything else that needed to be done in the area. We also had devotional time together and time to worship with our team. It was a time to develop a true community among believers. Of course it was also a time to develop crushes on people that we’d never see again too.
The other two mission trips had a different element to them. The Toronto trip was all about interacting with other people. We helped out at soup kitchens, and packed lunches that we distributed to homeless people on the street. It was really an eye opening experience.
The Mexico trip was different altogether. We did the standard work trip stuff. We also held a couple of vacation Bible schools for the kids in the area. However, one thing made this trip different than all the rest. On one of the nights, one of my friends gave his life to Christ when the whole group was together. This was truly a time for celebration, but for some reason I didn’t feel anything.
After everyone dispersed from the emotionally charged evening, I went upstairs to where we were sleeping. I just sat there and wondered what was wrong with me. Why wasn’t I feeling the emotion that everyone else felt? Maybe I didn’t say the right words or do the right thing to become a Christian.
All of a sudden a wave of emotions hit me. The realization that my friend and I would get to spend eternity together in Heaven was overwhelming. I couldn’t keep it together. This was a change that would effect both our eternities. It was at that moment that I went downstairs with my eyes filled with tears, found our youth leader, and recommitted my life to Christ.
While this life event didn’t necessary reveal an additional purpose, it did renew the sense that I should be living for something bigger than myself and that I couldn’t and shouldn’t attempt to do life on my own. I’ve been reminded of this recently as I try to determine what I should do with my career. I feel a strong sense that I should be doing more than what I am. I should be doing something that makes a difference in the life of others. At the same time, I have to have patience and seek the will of God in my life concerning these things.
As one of my friends recently put it, “have you ever noticed how easy it is for us to say that we should have patience and wait on God, but when it comes to doing it, it’s not that easy to put into practice?”
Daily Prayer
Lord,
Please give me the strength to make it through today, the patience to wait on the opportunity you have for me, the discernment to know when it is the right thing, and finally, the will to keep going and seeking what it is you have for my life.
Amen
Confidence from a 6 year old
My daughter wanted to start a lemonade and cookie stand today. We had to leave it for a while to do some other stuff. On the way back she tells me, “We’ve got to get back there because there is probably a line.”
I didn’t want to discourage her, so I said “You might be right.”
When we pulled past the house and there was no line, she said “I know why there’s no line.”
“Why is that?”
“Because the lemonade and cookies aren’t out.”
At what point in our life do we lose that confidence, the confidence that tells us “there will be a line.” Confidence that is so sure in something that there is no convincing us of something else. It’s our loss of this confidence that makes us so unsure of our decisions and unsure of what we should be doing. Really it’s a loss of faith. We lose faith that we will make the right decision, or better yet, that God will use whatever decision we make work out to His benefit.
Going to Church
I’m sure that I went to church when I was younger, but I honestly only remember going after my mom and step-dad were married. We lived out in the country and went to a church that was on a major road, but didn’t have very many people living in a close radius. The church seemed to draw quite a few people with anything between 200-350 in attendance while I was there. We went almost every Sunday, but never really participated in any of the extra services until I was maybe in 5th or 6th grade. That’s when we started going to the Wednesday evening services where we were split up by age group. We may have started going to Sunday School around this time as well.
Why is this important? Because this is when I really started to develop friendships with people who were outside of my class at school. Most of the students that attended the church also attended the same school, but some of them were in different grades, which widened the number of people I knew by quite a bit. Being an only child in a small school doesn’t exactly make you well known. If you’ve got older brothers and sisters, you’re usually set because all of their friends know who you are as well.
As I attended church and became more involved with the people there, I along with others would invite more of our friends to come. Believe it or not, they actually came and many of them got quite involved with the youth group. Sometimes it was because they were “interested” in someone in the group, or they were just looking for something fun to do. Either way, it didn’t hurt.
One of the things that would usually be a large draw were the youth retreats. We would go away for a weekend someplace (of varying distances) and do the usual youth group stuff like play games, bible study, listen to a speaker, sing, and generally hang out. I’ll never forget one of them. I have no idea what brought the course of events to where they had come, but I ended up spending quite a bit of time with one of my friends. I didn’t know her that well in comparison to other friends in my life, but we ended up having some incredibly deep discussions that weekend about Christ. I honestly don’t even know where some of the words I may have said came from.
Anyhow, Sunday rolled around and everyone went home for a while. The group was supposed to get back together for a concert Sunday evening, but unfortunately, I was so exhausted that I slept through it even though people were pounding on my door when they came to pick me up. I was told later that it was that evening my friend became a Christian. I wish I had been there, but for whatever minor part I may have played in it, I’m glad that God used me how he did.
This opened my eyes to another purpose that God had for my life. I was supposed to care about the future of others, and not necessarily their mortal future, but their eternal one. I’ve come to realize now, that I alone can’t lead someone to Jesus, but instead I play the part God puts me in. I may not even realize that I’m playing the part at the time until hours, days, or years later, but I should always be aware that no matter where I am, I could be used by God at any moment.